Beating the Odds
by MeganRenee1987
Summary: Gabrielle has traveled the world looking for a way to bring Xena back from the dead, only to discover that she is alive thanks to Ares, now they must work together to find Xena and remind her of her past life before it's too late. My first, please review.


Beating The Odds

By MeganRenee1987

I.

The night grew heavy in the sky as the ship made its way back to the dock. Gabrielle waited as patiently as she could before practically leaping off of the ship. At last she was home. Beloved Greece. It would never be the same, however, because Xena wasn't with her. Xena was gone, dead for nearly a year now.

Gabrielle would have been home sooner yet fate had conspired to keep her from home. Fate really had nothing to do with it. It had been Gabrielle's own selfish reasons. She had been to see ever shaman, witch and curse-maker. She had traveled the world looking for a way to bring Xena back from the dead to no avail. Tired and broken, Gabrielle returned. She had failed Xena yet again.

She was traveling down the same street that she had once walked many times when out of the blackness a hand pulled her into a side alley. She found herself pinned up against a wall by a cloaked figure. She could not move his grip was so strong. He stank of wine and dirty skin. His cape was raggedy and his breath was hot against her skin.

"Is she with you?"

Gabrielle would have recognized that voice anywhere. "Ares? What happened to you?"

"I asked if she was with you," he demanded again, this time stumbling a little.

"Who?" Gabrielle gasped. "Xena? Ares, Xena is dead."

She was released. He drew back from her as if she burned him with the words.

"No, she's not."

"Yes she is. I saw it myself," Gabrielle replied.

"No, she's not dead and don't say that again," he said in a threatening voice that was faltered by the way he grasped the wall for support. "She is not dead."

"How do you know?"

"Because I gave him my sword and he promised to give her back to me so we could grow old and die together."

Gabrielle rubbed her bruised wrists and took a step downwind of Ares. "What?"

"I gave him my sword and my godhood," Ares snapped. "He said he'd bring her back to life--"

"You're drunk."

"And you're stupid, but let's not state the obvious," he answered. "You looked everywhere, didn't you? For a way to bring her back to life. That's why it took you so long to come back. You couldn't find one, could you? That's because she isn't dead. She's very much alive."

Gabrielle was tired of this argument. "If she's alive, then where is she?"

"I had hoped she was with you, but since you're alone," he said in a condescending voice. "I don't know where she is."

"Then how do you even know she's alive?"

"Because he promised me."

"And since when does a promise to the god of war mean anything?"

"I wasn't the god of war when he promised me," Ares snapped. "What did she see in you? It couldn't be your powerful skills of observation."

"You're not making any sense. Who promised you--"

"You really are dense, aren't you?" Ares snarled. "The archangel promised me if I gave up my godhood and bowed down that he would repay me with one request."

"And you requested Xena? Why would you do that?"

"Aren't you the poet? Shouldn't you know? Shouldn't everyone know?" he waved his arms around widely. "The warrior princess made a love-sick fool out of the God of War. It's a big joke."

"You gave up your godhood--"

"For the third time I think. I'm not real sure. I've lost count by now," he said, retrieving a wineskin and taking a huge swig. "But yes, I gave it up again. I wanted her more than I wanted immortality. Laugh if you want, the archangel did."

"You really love her that much?"

"I keep telling people that, why is it that no one believes me?" he demanded.

"Did he tell you where--or even when?"

"Do you think if he did that that I would be sitting here in the alley waiting for you?" he demanded. "I would be with her."

"Have you checked with Eve?"

Ares smirked. "Do I look like an amateur to you? That's the first place I checked, then at her mother's, and then everywhere else on this forgotten spit of land. She's nowhere to be found. Can archangels lie?"

For the first time in nearly a year, hope welled up in Gabrielle. "No. If he promised it to you, then he must have meant it. Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"To get a room--"

"Not that I don't think you're just cute as a button, but I'm trying out this one-woman-man deal--"

"Not for that, idiot," Gabrielle muttered. "You have to sober up and bathe. Badly. And I need time to think. Who could help us?"

"That is not a bad plan. And if you're wondering, I didn't tell Eve. I didn't even let her see me."

"That was decent of you," Gabrielle led Ares out of the alleyway.

"Apparently, as a mortal I have a decent streak. I hope it isn't permanent."

II.

"Where are we going?"

"Must you whine?"

"I'm tired."

"We just started walking."

"Well, how much further?"

Gabrielle turned to face the sullen former God of War and found herself struck by her own handiwork. His beard was trimmed. He wore new clothes and after sobering up in a cold bath, he looked ready to reclaim his throne--or his woman, whichever happened to come first.

"What will you do when we find her?" he asked suddenly, causing Gabrielle to snap out of her daze.

"What do you mean, what will I do? Same as I always do, stay with Xena."

"That's where you're wrong, shortstuff. When we find her, I'm staying with her and you'll be moving right along."

Gabrielle turned and began walking. "I doubt she'll want to stay with you. She never did before."

"But I've changed."

"You can't seriously think that when we find her that she's going to want you over me, do you? We've tried this before, and I always win."

"Maybe you won't win this time," Ares said with a smug smile. "After all, I brought her back. Not you."

"It doesn't matter. You'll see."

An awkward pause ensued between them. Then the trees cleared up ahead.

"We're here," Gabrielle smiled. "I hope he remembers me."

Ares was cut off from asking who when an all too familiar figure appeared in the distance.

"No, no, no, no," Ares chanted. "Not him."

Hercules caught Gabrielle up in a bear hug and spun her around. His half-immortal blood did well to keep him young and vibrant. He had only begun to age around his eyes but his body was still as strong as it had been thirty years ago.

"Ares, you're looking very mortal," Hercules couldn't resist baiting his half-brother.

"Thank you, so nice of you to mention it," turning to Gabrielle he pointed to Hercules. "This is who you thought could help us find her?"

"Find who?" Hercules asked.

"Xena," Gabrielle answered, ignoring yet another pointed look from Ares.

"I heard the news. I'm very sorry," Hercules looked away for a minute before swinging his gaze back to them. "Did you say, help you find her?"

"Yes, you ox, she's alive," Ares replied.

Hercules blinked. "Alive? How?"

"How is not important. Where is important. Do you know where she might be?"

Hercules thought for a moment. "Eve--"

"Checked."

"Amph--"

"Been there."

"Rome--"

"Try again."

Brother stared at brother. Ares sensed something suspicious about his half brother but rather than make it known, he backed away.

"Since you've been such a tremendous help, I think we should best be on our way," Ares turned toward the path, but when Gabrielle didn't move with him, he turned back. "Are you coming? I have a warrior princess to find, save, and all that jazz."

"Why don't you come in for a drink before you leave so soon?" Hercules asked. "I'm sorry Lola isn't around. She's on the next farm over delivering a set of twins."

"Lola?" both Ares and Gabrielle asked.

"I'm not a monk. I like women."

"And they always liked you," Gabrielle smiled. Walking arm in arm with him, she turned to look at him. "Tell me all about her."

Ares tried not to listen but the sense of unease was growing. He had never liked Hercules, but that had never been the point. The point was he had never been this uneasy around him. Ares knew that Hercules was hiding something by his cool demeanor and mindless chitchat with the bard.

After many pleasantries were exchanged and food ate, Gabrielle stood to leave.

"It was good seeing you again, Hercules."

"Not as good as seeing you," he smiled and swept her up in a big hug. "And if--when you find Xena, tell her I never stopped thinking about her--"

"Sure thing, right at the top of my to do list," Ares interrupted. "Tell my warrior princess that you think of her. Thanks for the grub, bub. Now, come on bard, I have things to do."

They were barely out of the clearing and onto the path when Ares stopped suddenly.

"I forgot something, go ahead. I'll meet you in the next village."

"How will you know? You'll get lost."

"I'm not completely helpless. I'll be there."

"I won't wait for you," Gabrielle said looking at him. "I intend on finding Xena first."

"Then by all mean, the lady must have her headstart," he said gesturing to the path. "And we'll see who finds her first."

Gabrielle shot him a warning look and then turned back to the path while Ares snuck back to the clearing. When she was out of view, he lifted the treasure he'd managed to lift off of her unsuspecting form. The chakram glittered the light. He was distracted by it only for a second before he noticed movement at the house. Sure enough, that sense of unease came over him again as he watched Hercules exit the house and begin pacing.

Then the trees part on the opposite side of the clearing. Both brothers looked as the tall, raven haired woman came through the brush to the clearing.

"Xena."

"Lola."

Both men hissed at the same time. It was the first time Ares had mentioned her name since her death but far from the first time he'd thought about her.

"Where have you been? I was so worried about you!" Hercules lifted Xena off of her feet and carried her back to the house. "I love you, wife."

"And I love you, husband."

Ares could swear he heard his heart shatter. This was not right. He had been promised--he began to feel dizzy. He grasped the vine covered tree next to him for support. This was all wrong. All wrong.

III.

Ares chose not to leave the safe haven of the brush on the edge of the clearing. This situation called for some finesse. What exactly was the best way to break into your half-brother's home and steal back your warrior queen who happened to be suffering from amnesia, quite possibly from sacrificing herself in a foreign land far away from here?

Ares settled against the vine covered tree trunk and tried to think of a way to get to her. If only she knew the truth--if only he could play it right this time and win her back for real. Getting past Hercules would be the biggest problem. The man was a guard dog.

Sleep was upon Ares before he knew it and once again, he cursed being mortal.

The sound of her voice woke him early the next morning. In spite of the twin throbbing of his head and his leg and the strange numbness of his arm, he pushed himself closer to hear what she was saying.

"It will only be for a few weeks," she stood in the doorway of the house. "I can handle it."

Hercules's voice seemed deeper than normal. "I hate leaving you alone. Are you sure you don't want to come--"

"Positive," she answered with a smile.

"Maybe I shouldn't go--"

Xena or rather, Lola took his arm and lead him out of the house. "No, you go. You've been planning this for weeks. Have fun and I'll be right here when you get back."

"That's the only thing that keeps me going," he bent and dropped a kiss on her lips, causing Ares to nearly throw up in the bushes. "Now, promise me if you get lonely or scared you'll go--"

"To Mellina's right down the river. I promise."

"And please stay off the road--war lords pass through here and strangers--"

"Only to the river and back. I'll be fine. Go, have a good time and stop worrying," Lola wrapped her arms around him. "Hurry back."

"No, strangers, Lola. Don't let them in--"

Lola silenced him with a kiss. "Maybe I should be warning you--no strange women and no--"

"I love you Lola."

"I love you too. Now, go," Lola, in the beautiful Xena's body, shooed her husband away.

Ares couldn't fight the happiness he felt at that moment. She was alone. He had his chance. He couldn't fight the happiness nor the numbing that was spreading up his left arm and down his body. He slumped back against the tree into unconsciousness.

/

When he woke up, he was in a bed. Was he dead? Was all that a dream? Where was Xena? He tried to open his mouth but couldn't. He tried to pull back the covers but his arm refused to move. He couldn't move or talk and the pain behind his eyes was increasing.

All that, however, was forgotten when she stepped into his line of vision. Her long dark hair was pulled back into twin braids that reached her waist. Her dress was well-worn but clean and she wore a gentle expression on her face. If his heart hadn't always started beating wildly whenever she was near, he probably would never have recognized her. Once again he tried to speak but failed.

"You're awake," Lola said with Xena's smile. "Don't try to talk. You were bitten by a black snake. The whole left side of your body is paralyzed. Don't worry, you're going to be okay. I caught the poison in time. You need to rest. My name is Lola."

His eyes followed her around the room as she poured water and came to sit on the left side of the bed.

"Your fever has broken. The worst is over," she said with a smile. "How you managed to crawl to my front door is beyond me. You woke me up moaning the name, Xena over and over again. Is she your wife?"

Ares tried to answer.

"I'm sorry, don't answer that," Lola held water to his lips. "Drink."

He did and tried to smile.

"Feeling better? Good. Let me have a look at your bandage."

She whipped the blanket back and Ares felt the cool air hit his tender skin. He was naked before Xena's eyes. The thought was not as exhilarating as it once had been. Her skillful touch probe the flesh on the inside of his thigh. If he could have moved, he probably would have pulled away. If he could have talked, he probably would have shrieked. Yet he knew her touch better than anyone's, and he was now certain that this was his Xena.

"Looking much better," she murmured to herself. She quickly changed the bandage and applied a new poultice.

"The tricky thing about black snake bites is you have to kill the snake and boil it to put into the poultice to suck out the poison. I also found this in weeds where I killed the snake. I think it's yours," she gestured to the chakram that hung on the wall.

She replaced the blanket and brushed the hair off of his forehead.

"The bugs nearly ate you up," she turned to the bedside table. "Well, what the poison ivy didn't cover."

She poured a thick white paste onto his chest and then began to gently rub it into his skin. She rubbed his arms, chest and stomach. Her touch was impersonal yet it effected Ares deeply. He could die just like this, he realized, and never regret one second of it. He had to make her remember who he was--who she was.

"Just a little more," she said, her fingers applying the lotion to his face. She leaned closer and he inhaled her scent. She was scant inches from his fingertips and yet he couldn't touch her. He made his vow to recover.

She sat back. "Rest now. I'll bring you some broth in a bit."

His eyes did feel heavy. He blinked and she was gone.

When he awoke again, she was asleep in the chair next to the bed. A scroll in her lap and a roaring fire framing her in golden light. Ares opened his mouth and a groan escaped. Not the most charming of sounds, but it woke Lola who blinked.

"You're getting your voice back. That's good."

She stood up and disappeared returning with a bowl.

She sat next to him. "You have to eat."

Ares glanced around the room in frustration of being unable to talk to her when he saw the large mirror directly across from the bed. Another groan escaped-- he was covered in the white paste that had dried onto his skin. The white served as a nice contrast to his dark hair threaded with twigs and leaves, not to mention the red rash that cover his face and entire torso. Dark circles around his eyes, bruises up and down his body, and some how he had managed to scrape his face. No longer the dark and mysterious God of War, Ares was red, swollen and infected and starting to itch. He couldn't even laugh at the irony, had it been funny, which it most certainly was not.

"It's not as bad as it looks," Lola said in a firm voice reminding him of the old Xena. "You were much worse yesterday."

Another groan.

"It's okay. You're going to be fine," she put the spoon to his lips.

Ares reluctantly ate most of the bowl.

"See? Healthy appetite already. You'll be back to normal in a few days if you keep recovering like this. Back on the high road to your Xena, I'd imagine. You lost your voice saying her name over and over. That and the poison but I choose to believe it was because you wanted her."

She didn't know how right she was. Lola touched him tenderly and he closed his eyes.

"Would you like me to read to you? When my hus--Hercules is sick, I read to him. He says it helps."

Ares opened his eyes as Lola scooted closer to the bed. She opened a large, dusty scroll. As she read, Ares began willing himself to heal faster. He only had a few weeks to convince her and he needed every second. Xena's life was not an easy story to be believed. He ordered the fingers on his left hand to move.

By the end of the scrolls, he could wiggle his index finger.

By the next morning, he woke up to find her face cradled in his upturned hand.

IV.

He knew the exact moment Lola woke up. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep hoping that she would stay there.

She didn't. She stood up and fairly ran from the room. A moment later he heard the door creak open and heavy footsteps on the floorboards. He fought a grin. The mattress beside him sank under the weight of a new person on the bed. With a huge effort, Ares turned his face toward his right. Only instead of seeing Xena's beautiful blue eyes, he was greeted with the monstrous yawn of a beast that nearly doubled him in weight.

The dog was nearly the length of the bed lying down and with a shake of his hair amber hairs littered the blanket. He took one look at Ares and with another yawn licked the paste off of Ares's cheek with one swipe of his tongue. Then he settled his massive head down on the pillow, nearly covering it completely. His floppy ears fell over his eyes and Ares assumed that meant he was ready for a nap.

"Xena!" her name came out no more than a croak at first. Then a harsh whisper, then as a moan, then as low chant that built up speed as Ares slowly reclaimed his voice. After more than a half hour of trying, he finally felt he was ready.

"XENA!" he shouted with all of the air in his lungs.

She appeared as if waiting for him to call her. "So you can speak!"

"Are you missing an overgrown beast, by any chance?" the words were coming back as Ares realized how hard it was to move your mouth and speak at the same time.

Lola turned confused eyes on him. "What?"

Ares nodded to the huge dog that lay beside him on the bed.

Lola smiled. "Ares--"

Ares nearly lifted himself off of the bed.

"--you big cow! Come here and leave the poor man alone. More trouble than you're worth."

The dog lumbered off the bed and over to her wagging his gigantic tail.

"I'm sorry he bothered you. I guess he was used to the routine--when my--Hercules leaves, Ares is used to sharing the bed with me," she said softly.

The human Ares somewhat resented the canine Ares for that particular honor.

"So what can I call you, stranger?"

"Ares," he answered in a groan as he tried to move.

"My, my, my that seems to be a popular name."

"It was my name before it was the mutt's," Ares put in resentfully.

"Since you can talk, how are you feel?"

Ares gave her a thorough once over. "Better. Now that you're here."

"A charmer, imagine that," Lola said drolly. "How do you feel really?"

"Stiff," he answered. "Itchy."

His right hand moved to scratch his stomach, a move that surprised. Lola's hand smacked his away.

"Don't scratch. Here," she handed him the paste.

"I don't want--"

"You need to--"

"Will you--"

"You can--"

Ares sighed. "I can't--"

Lola smiled that Xena smile. "Sure you can."

"Will you at least put some one my face? Oh, and my neck," he said as the overwhelming urge to scratch hit him.

Lola watched as he frantically rubbed the lotion in across his broad chest and tearing her gaze away from him, she stepped in and quickly applied it to his face and neck, her touch causing his hand to stop while he enjoy the sensation of her skin against his.

Her fingers moved to his cheeks to get the rash contained when he turned his hand suddenly and kissed the palm of her hand.

Lola jerked back.

"Thank you."

"You--You're welcome," she said backing out of the room. "I'll be downstairs if you need me."

She was clearly struck by what he'd done. So she wasn't completely oblivious to the tension between them.

Covered in a rash with white paste all over his body and poison coursing through his veins and partially paralyzed, Ares could still get to a woman. No, not just any woman. Xena.

"What can I say?" he muttered to himself. "When you got it, you got it. And I definitely got it."

V.

He awoke to Lola standing over him. She was washing the paste off of his face. The sensation of the warm cloth relaxed him. Her closed his eyes.

"Your rash is going away."

He smiled and scratched his neck, eyes still closed.

"And so apparently is your paralysis," she said, causing his eyes to snap open. Sure enough he was using his left arm. "The poison is leaving your system."

"You're a natural born curer," he smiled wickedly. "Whatever will I do to repay you?"

"Start by washing the rest of the calamine off of you," she said tossing the cloth lightly in the middle of his chest. "And then tomorrow when you can walk, you can be on your way."

She turned away.

"Where are you going?" he asked, straining to sit up.

"You're out of danger. You don't need me to sit watch over you," she said quietly.

"Maybe I want you to sit watch over me."

"I think I liked you better when you couldn't talk," she replied dangerously.

He smiled. "So what kind of man leaves a woman here to take care of herself?"

Lola crossed her arms over her chest. "What makes you think I need a man to take care of me?"

"You look more than capable, I'm sure. But if I were your husband, wild horses couldn't drag me away."

"Keep it up and we'll test that theory."

Ares laughed. "You'd marry me?"

"I'd let wild horses drag you away," she corrected.

Ares couldn't fight the smile that curved his lips as she said it. She really was his Xena. Lola, however looked taken aback by what she had just said.

"Why did I say that?" she asked herself aloud. "I don't even know you."

"Don't worry, I get that a lot," he grinned. "You're a feisty thing, aren't you?"

"Recently," she said distractedly. She moved to the window in an effort to distance herself from him. She opened it and stood gazing across the horizon. She was trying to distance herself from him because she liked him. Too much. Ares sighed in relief because she hadn't run away--yet.

"So, Lola," he said drawing out the sound of her name, "what's he like?"

"Who?" she asked with her back to him.

"The husband. I'm interested. What kind of man does it take to win your heart?"

When she faced him, her gaze pinned him in place. "He's a good man."

"Handsome?"

"Yes."

"Kind?"

"Yes."

"Sweet?"

Tried of this conversation, she crossed her arms. "Yes."

"Sexy?" Ares made sure to look her over carefully. When she didn't answer, he saw his chance. "Come on, Lola, doesn't the old man get you hot?"

"That's enough," she was moving swiftly across the room toward the door.

"Wait!" Ares strained to forward and sucked in a sobering breath as he fell back against the pillows. "Lola, don't go."

She was at his side in an instant. "Stupid man, lie back."

He did and Lola examined his leg. Her fingers probed his wounds.

"Breathe," she commanded, noticing that he had stopped.

He did.

"No blood and you're healing quickly."

"Fantastic," he muttered.

"Don't push it. Rest now," she said softly, rising. She replaced the blanket and then looked down at him. "The answer is yes."

Ares's question was in his eyes.

"Yes, he's sexy and yes he gets me hot," she answered, but her voice lacked the enthusiasm that Ares sought.

She disappeared as Ares feel asleep with a smile on his face.

VI.

"Lola! Lola! Are you home?"

Unaccustomed to hearing another voice, Ares snapped out of his daydream and strained to hear the conversation taking place right below his window.

"Hello, Mellina," the wariness filled Lola's voice.

"Where have you been? You haven't been over to the farm at all since the boys went off."

"I know, I've been busy," Lola much be standing on the porch, Ares thought. He heaved himself into a sitting position.

"There's always time to visit," said the perky voice. "Look at me, six kids, newborn twins, a whole farm to run but I had to come check on you."

"Well, I'm doing fine."

"Working on your housework? That's good. Hercules will love it. Maybe if you finally make your house a home you'll finally hear that pitter patter of little feet."

Ares moved his feet to the floor. He sucked in a tight breath. Using the bed post he pulled himself to his feet. He stood two wobbling steps before steadying himself. Grasping the bed, he dragged his injured leg behind him as he half-walked, half-pulled himself to the window, where he leaned against the wall to remain out of sight. He listened very carefully over the ringing in his ears.

"I love what you've done here. All you need is a few dozen children running around to make it complete."

Ares flinched. He couldn't see the woman without her seeing him, yet he already knew he didn't like her.

"Really, Lola, you know the men talk and ever since your accident, Hercules--"

"Thank you for your concern," Lola returned evenly. "But there is nothing wrong with my marriage."

"No one is saying different, Lola," the other woman interjected quickly. "It's just that you and Hercules haven't--"

Ares's eyebrow lifted with curiosity.

"Is there something you need, Mellina?"

"Just think of having a baby, Lola. You'd be surprised how it changes things."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Ares couldn't hear anymore because the room had begun to spin dangerously fast. He clutched the wall for support and mentally ordered the woman to return to her half-dozen children so that he could call for help. He closed his eyes and then doubled over.

"Xena," he called out. "Xena!"

She was at his side, pulling his big body back toward the bed.

"The room--"

"Don't talk," she ordered. "Why did you get out of bed? Is the room spinning? You're light headed. You just had to overdo it didn't you?"

He closed his eyes. Lola somehow managed to get him back into the bed. The room slowly stopped spinning as Lola mopped the sweat from his face.

He caught Lola's hand and tugged her onto the bed with him. He clutched at that hand as if it were a lifeline.

"Don't leave me," he whispered. "Please, Xena, don't leave me."

She finished wiping his face and curled up next to him, her fingers still laced through his. She pushed her worries out of her mind and just concentrated on listening to him breathe, and wondering why she cared so much about each rise and fall of his chest.

When she woke up next to him a few hours later, her head was on his chest, causing her hair to splay across his body. His arm was wrapped around her and his other hand still held hers tightly, as if refusing to let it go even in sleep.

Why was this man getting to her? Why was she comfortable with him? Who was he? What did he want? She didn't think she knew him, but who was to say who she knew? He certainly hadn't let on if he knew her. Still, an odd happiness that she had never know before crept over her as she lay with the strange man in the bed that she was supposed to share with her husband.

"Stop it," his voice was a low growl that vibrated against her ears.

"Stop what?" she tried to move, but he held her in place.

"Stop trying to ruin this. Just lay here and enjoy it."

"This is wrong."

Ares gently drew circles on the palm of her hand with his thumb. "No, it's not. Nothing has ever felt more right in my life."

"You're not my husband."

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her it wasn't for his lack of trying. But instead he relented. "No. I'm not your husband but if I were, this is how we would spend our days."

It was a nice thought, even though it irked her to want to stay like this. She had a good husband, he was a good man. He had found her and took care of her when no one else knew who she was--when she didn't even know who she was.

"Why do you call me Xena?" she asked suddenly.

He paused. "Because you remind me of her."

"Where is she?"

Ares held Lola's hand and inhaled her scent, longing to tell her everything but he couldn't imagine ruining such a beautiful moment.

"I lost her a long time ago," he mumbled, and then he realized it was true.

It wasn't when she left his army or when she struck out with Gabrielle on the path of righteousness, it was when she wanted him the most, but couldn't have him for the sake of everyone around her. That's when he'd lost her--to her responsibility, to her family, to right. They had quite a past, the two of them--filled with deception, sacrifice and a lifetime of almosts. They had almost been together many times--he had almost became the man she needed, and she almost forgave him for everything.

Should he tell her the truth? For the first time, doubt weaved its way into his mind. His plan had been simple--get her to trust him and then reveal that she was the warrior princess, but now, thinking back on it, why should he remind her of all the bad memories--all the pain that she'd endured? She was a happy farm wife, why didn't he just walk away and find some other woman. The answer was simple. Xena was the only woman for him. She was still there--inside of Lola, confused but still there beneath the surface.

Lola didn't say anything for a minute. She was staring at their entwined fingers. "Did you love her?"

"With every breath."

They lay together for a little while longer before she spoke again. "I should really get up."

"I know."

"You really should rest."

"Right again."

"I'm a married woman."

"And I'm a stranger that you've never seen before."

"This will never happen again."

"So be quiet and enjoy it."

In the end, it was Ares's stomach that betrayed him. It growled giving Lola all the encouragement she needed to get up. As she neared the steps she turned back.

"Would you like to take a bath tonight?"

Ares's first thought elicited images of both of them slippery wet, covered in strategically placed suds. Lola must have seen the look on his face because she added, quickly,

"I mean, a solo bath."

He grinned. "What if I need someone to wash my back?"

"I have a scrub brush with a long handle. Yes or no?"

"Yes."

She nodded, back to her old self. But there was a tenderness in her eyes that hadn't been there before. Ares carefully thought about what he should do. If he had his way, he would stay here and play house with her for the rest of his life. He would erase the memories of Hercules and anyone else that ever kept him away from her.

The thought of Hercules caused an unruly anger in him. He had been lying to her. He had convinced her that she was someone she wasn't and had hidden her away from the world. How could he do such a thing?

A nagging voice reminded Ares that he was doing the very same thing--that if he were any kind of man, he'd tell her the truth and reunite her with Gabrielle--that's what Xena would want. Even as he knew it, he knew that he could never let her go again. He had lost her so many times before that he couldn't stand the thought of losing her again.

The decision made, Ares knew what he had to do. Touching his chest where her head had lain, he swore he could still feel her warmth.

VII.

"These are my--Hercules's old clothes," she said quietly as they stood facing each other in that candle-lit kitchen. Steam rose up from the iron tub in the corner of the room. Ares stood leaning against a chair.

"I'll be upstairs changing the sheets. Call if you need anything."

She turned.

"You don't have to go," it was said barely above a whisper but it stopped her.

"Yes, I do," she said with her back to him.

"It's not like you haven't seen me naked before--"

"It's not that--I'm a married--"

"So?"

She was beginning to piss him off waving Hercules in front of him like a target. He didn't realize that Hercules was her only defense against her wild attraction for him. It was the only thing that kept her from losing all sense of decency.

"Stop hiding behind your marriage," he said in a fierce tone.

She whirled around to face him. "I am not hiding."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I am not hiding!" she snapped. "He has nothing to do with this!"

"Then what does?" he demanded.

She turned away.

"Lola," he said in a tense voice.

"I don't trust myself with you," she said before flying up the stairs, leaving him shocked and alone.

He carefully slid himself into the hot water and sighed a heavy sigh. This was the closest thing to godhood a mortal could achieve, he realized. He scrubbed his aching limbs and his nature infested hair before exhaustion overcame him and he had to rest. He must have drifted off because when awoke, he knew someone was staring at him.

Lola stood at the foot of the tub. "The water's getting cold."

He knew the signs of wanting. He had lived with them since the first time he saw her.

"Come here," he said in a hoarse voice. He had been wanting her for far too long.

"No," she shook her head, but couldn't tear he eyes away from his chest.

"Then why did you come in here, Lola?" he demanded, suddenly angry that she had the willpower that he lacked.

She looked away guiltily. "You've been in there a while now. I had to check on you."

"Well, you've checked on me."

She blinked at the harshness of his voice. She didn't know the battle that was raging inside of him.

"I suggest you turn away--after all you are married," he commanded, and then not giving her time, he shoved himself upward and stood gloriously naked before her.

She turned away belatedly and when she faced him again, he was dressed in a pair of Hercules's old wool pants. He hadn't bothered with a shirt.

"The bed is ready for you."

Any other time, he would have laughed at how perfectly fitting her words were, but he was in no mood.

"Take it. I'll stay down here."

"No, you're sick--"

"I'd rather not sleep in your marriage bed. It must be a holy place with such a fine husband like Hercules," he snarled, suddenly realizing that once again his brother had beaten him. He had Xena, a nice home and a good life with her. All Ares had was this one chance to change things, but at what price?

"I know you're angry for some reason, but don't be stupid. Let me help you--"

"No!" he snapped. "Don't touch me! Every time you touch me, I want you--no, I don't just want you, I need you more and more and every time, you run away!"

"How can you need me?" she demanded. "You don't even know me!"

Ares looked away.

"Fate just happened to throw us together, don't make it more than that!"

He turned to pierce her this time with his eyes. "What if it is more than that?"

When she didn't answer, he sighed. "Leave me here and tomorrow I'll be out of your hair."

It was an empty promise and they both knew it, he could barely stand.

"Please, Ares, just take the bed and get well. Then you can leave."

"I don't want to spend another second in that bed," he growled again.

"Why? It's the most comfortable bed on the place and upstairs is the warmest part of the house."

Ares looked at her incredulously. "Why? Why don't I want to lie the same bed? Because that's where the dumb ox gets to do all the things I wish I could."

Disgusted with himself for that confession, Ares turned away offering her a view of his well toned back.

"He doesn't share that bed with me," Lola said in a quiet voice. "He never has. He sleeps in the barn."

Ares couldn't name the emotions that overwhelmed him. He didn't move for a few minutes. "Are you telling me, you don't sleep with your husband?" he turned slowly because that's all he could manage.

"He said that when I'm ready I'll come to him."

"He's a fool."

"No, he loves me! Which is more than I can say for some people. You know you have a lot of nerve coming into another man's home and sleeping in his bed while his wife nurses you back to health and then to try and convince you that you love her--" she snapped. "Why should I tell you anything about Hercules? Why do you need to know about my marriage? You're just a stranger that showed up on my front porch one random day. Just because I've been nice to you doesn't mean I'm going to jump into bed with you. What happened earlier was a mistake and you can count on it never happening again. From on, no more charm, no more of those looks, and after I get you back upstairs to bed, no more touching. Period."

She was Xena in all her radiant glory while she delivered that speech. Her had never been happier or more heartbroken in his life. Her marched over and tenderly helped him up the stairs to the bed before leaving him silently.

Yes, she was definitely still the same Xena.

/

Baby steps, he reminded himself as he tenderly stumbled around the bedroom. He didn't want to embarrass himself or get dizzy. So he practiced.

Lola had been suspiciously loud all morning--banging pots, slamming doors. Ares couldn't remember her ever being so loud. It was a good sign. She was just as frustrated as he was.

Ares managed to maneuver himself downstairs to the kitchen. The tub had been put away. Lola wasn't there, so he stumbled out to the porch and leaned against the railing.

Sure enough, she was coming toward the house with a basket full of eggs and her giant mutt at her heels. It must be an Ares thing, Ares though amused at himself. We just tend to follow Xena.

"Morning," he shouted.

She didn't look at him.

"Lola, don't do that," he muttered. "I'm sorry about last night, okay? I was just on edge. Maybe it was the poison talking."

She didn't answer but moved past him into the kitchen.

"Lola," he groaned, hobbling after her. "I said I was sorry. You can't ignore me."

She seemed to be doing just that.

He sighed and sat at the table. "You're right, I don't know you that well. We just met and I probably shouldn't have been so blunt but I'm a man who knows what he wants and I want you, Lola. That's not going to change--married or not."

Her eyes flashed to his. She was silent for a long time. Just as Ares was giving up, she turned, "What do you want for lunch?"

VIII.

He ate the soup she fixed like a starving man. She sat across from him completely absorbed in watching him eat but hiding that was doing it.

"Where did you learn to cook?" he asked, sitting back and patting his taunt abs.

Lola looked away, flattered but determined not let him know it. "I think it was my mother but I don't know for sure. It feels like my life started six months ago when Hercules found me wondering along the river bank, naked with Ares trailing behind me."

"What happened?" Are asked, leaning forward.

"No one knows. He says I fell from a horse, Mellina thinks I fell into the river. I don't think it was either, but I can't remember what happened."

"So he found you?"

She nodded. "Named me, married me and brought me here, knowing nothing about me."

He noticed the appreciation in her voice for Hercules. "Have you remembered anything at all?"

"No," she sighed softly. "But I dream a lot. I don't know if my dreams are memories or if they're dreams."

"What does he say?" Ares had to ask.

"He tells me that they're dreams and that when my memory is ready--if it's every ready, it will come back to me."

"He's a big fan of waiting, isn't he?" Ares smirked.

"He has patience," she countered.

"You have no idea the kind of patience I've had," he muttered under his breath. Leaning back, he glanced around the nice little kitchen. "So, my dear, what's the plan for today?"

She cleared the dishes away. "Well, I have to hang the laundry up to dry."

"Fabulous, I'll watch you."

She eyed him from the sink.

"Well, I can't overdo it, now can I?"

In the end, he won out as she helped him outside to a shady spot beneath a tree where he sat in a wooden chair and rest. Barely six feet away, she stood at the clothes line hanging sheets. The canine Ares lay next to his human predecessor in the shade occasionally lifting his head and yawning.

What a pretty picture we make, Ares thought to himself. I could live like this.

Lola began to hum to herself as she moved from one sheet to the next. She moved behind them and Ares admired her form.

"Why don't you wear his ring?" he asked before he could stop himself.

From the other side of the sheet, Lola's silhouette stilled. She looked down at her left hand. Her finger was bare. Why had she thought that he would miss that small detail?

"I don't know," she answered.

She had one--it was plain silver band, she hadn't wanted anything fancy--she hadn't wanted to get married, but he seemed to set on it--so proud to have been her savior and he had in a way saved her life, so she couldn't just say no. It hadn't been the ceremony she thought she may have wanted before. Just the priest, Hercules, Mellina and Mellina's father Ioalus, and Lola. If she had a mother, she was sure she would have wanted her there. Still she said I do, took the ring and carried it with her in her pocket only slipping it on when Hercules was around. She didn't want to hurt him by telling him that the ring felt odd against her skin--as if it didn't belong there. It made her finger itch.

"You never did say where the charming husband ran off to."

"He was to be given an award in some village far from here--Amphipolis," she said hanging a new sheet. "Usually, he begs me to go with him. This time he decided that the distance was too far and asked if I would mind staying here."

"Have you left this place since he brought you here?"

"He asks but somehow something always comes up--a neighbor has a baby, a sick child, an army on the road. Fate seems determined to leave me here."

"Do you want to leave?" hope rose up in Ares's chest. He could take her away from here and start a whole new life with her somewhere else.

"It doesn't matter if I want to leave or not. I am promised to this place," she said, leaving the unspoken "and to him" out for Ares's benefit.

"You can walk away, Lola," Ares said in a low voice. "We can leave here--"

"No, we can't. In a few days, you will walk away and forget this place and I will welcome him home. It is my duty and the right thing to do."

"How do you know that? How do you know that coming with me isn't the right thing?"

"Because I could never betray the man who saved me."

How little did she know, Ares thought to himself as he lapsed into silence. He watched her finish the sheet and move on to the clothes. She hung his black leather pants and his vest on the line. She had washed his clothes. He smiled. She hung a few more things before stepping out of the lines and trailing off toward the barn.

"Where are you going?"

"To check the horses."

"Are you going to just leave me here?"

"You don't have to follow me everywhere," she answered.

Ares still tried to gain his feet and hobble after her, which made her stop and come back for him.

"I can't wait until you realize that I'm not that interesting," she muttered, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"Not possible," he answered before he could stop himself. She shot him a look that plainly said she didn't believe him.

She left him at the barn door as she moved down the row of stalls checking the horses and readying the feed bags. Ares, using the stalls as a leaning post moved down after, but much more slowly. He noticed how she paused at the last stall before turning completely around instead of going to the very opposite end of the barn.

"What?" he asked as she walked quickly back to the front.

"Nothing."

"What's down there?"

"Nothing."

"Lola," he said her name in a low voice.

"That's where he sleeps," she answered. "I'm not ready yet."

"What if you're never ready?" Ares said in her ear as she brush past him. "What if he's not the one for you? What if that's the reason you haven't been with him yet?"

"Stop," she breathed slightly, revealing that she'd been thinking the same thing.

She moved past him to water the horses before helping him out of the barn to the house. He was deposited on the porch while she gathered up peas to shell.

As Lola came out on the front step in the warm sunshine, she looked over at him. "You know a lot about me, what about you?"

"There's not much to tell about me."

"Think of something," she returned just he would have done had she avoided his question.

Thinking of the first word that would accurately describe him, he glanced over at her. "War."

Her eyes were waiting. "War?"

"That's all I've ever known or done," he replied. "I've been fighting from the cradle."

"That must have been a lonely life."

"It wasn't," he shrugged. "Until--"

"You met her?" Lola finished for him.

He looked over at her. "How did you know?"

"You don't seem very war-like to me now, I'm assuming that something drastic must have happened and in your case, it had to have been Xena."

He smiled. "She was awesome. I know, I trained her. Men feared her, the sound of her name would send chills down the meanest warlord's back. Villages would honor her like a goddess. She was the best warrior I ever knew."

"What happened?"

"She saw through it. She changed her ways--something I never thought possible until it happened to me. She stopped killing for sport, stopped burning villages and started helping the world become a better place. She would rescue and protect, defend and honor. Her name still sent chills but it was only to the hearts of evil and when villages would honor her like a goddess, it was because they loved her, not because they feared her."

"Did you stop loving her?" Lola asked, "When she changed?"

He shook his head. "I think that's when I fell in love with her. When she was evil and she was damn good at being evil, she was at my side and I never realized how amazing she was. It was only when she was staring at me from across the battlefield that I really knew her. She would sacrifice herself for the greater good every time, she held the few people she loved closest to her and would rather die herself than let them be hurt. I tried to lure her back to me after it became clear that I needed her for much more than a leader of an army but she never gave in. I did some terrible things to her--things that I don't think she would have ever forgiven me for--but she did, eventually. I would have hated me had someone done to me what I did to her, but when my fall from grace happened and nothing was there to protect me, she was."

"You really love her."

He nodded. "I gave up forever to save her."

Lola didn't quite understand what he meant but when he turned his eyes back to her, she saw that he looked at her the same way he did when he spoke of Xena. His gaze made her skin tingle.

"I see a lot of her in you. You look like her, sound like her and even act like her sometimes."

"I'm not her," Lola didn't know why she had the need to say that to him. "I can't be. I've never killed a living thing--that I can remember and I don't have the strength to take on the evil in this world."

How easy would it have been for him to tell her right then that she was Xena. That he had given up his godhood--again--to bring her back from the dead. That he'd searched everywhere for her and not that he found her, he had no intention of doing so. But to tell her that was to remind her of her life before--of Gabrielle, of Eve, of the greater good. He could never be with her if she knew of the others she loved, because they would always come before him.

"You're not the Xena, I remember," he replied. "But if Xena could have chosen a different path than the one she did, I'd like to think that maybe we would have ended up here just the same, only instead of you being married to him, I'd be the one coming home to you every night."

"Why do you say things like that?" she asked, taking the bowl and jumping up. "You won't make this easy, will you? I'm not Xena, and this isn't some fantasy. I'm married to Hercules--he's my husband, and the way you've made her sound, Xena is dead. Now, stop looking at me like that. I'm not her so don't try to fall in love with me because you think that I am."

She left him on the porch while she moved around the kitchen. Ares was slow to follow her because his legs were stiff from the sudden wave of exercise. She stood at the fire with her back to him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that--" she said in a quiet voice. "I should be honored to be compared to her."

But she wasn't. Inside she was dismayed to know that he was only so attentive to her because she reminded him of another woman. The thought was ridiculous and angered her even more. Why should she care the reason he seemed intent on her? Why was she jealous of some dead woman? Why did she even care about him? One look into those warm chocolate eyes and she knew. She was in love with him.

"I know that you're not her," Ares said, his breath warm on her neck. "I am not confused. I see the same strength in you that I saw in her. I know who you are, you are Lola, a woman in a loveless marriage who can't remember a damn thing about her past and is love with a stranger who happened to find his way to her doorstep."

She turned to look at him. They were mere inches apart, the longing throbbed between them. Ares's lowered his head and Lola's lips parted.

"Miss Lola? Miss Lola?"

She jerked away from him. "Hide."

She moved to the door of the house and looked at her visitor. "Yes?"

"Mellina told me to come for you, ma'am. She says that one of the babies is terrible sick. She needs you to come to her right now."

Lola nodded and ran back into the kitchen for her leather pouch of herbs. Ares hid in the shadows.

"Hold that thought," she said in a whisper.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her to his body, laying a scorching kiss on her lips. At first, Lola didn't react but then, she felt the wave of heat and found herself responding to his questing tongue.

Reluctantly, he released her. "That should tide me over. Go save the day." He couldn't rest a slap on the behind as she rushed to the door.

IX.

Ares stood watch at the window. It was well after dark. The candles he lit flickered against the walls as his worry increased. Something had happened. He paced the floor, unconscious of the protesting throbbing in his leg. He was beginning to move better now, the more he paced, even though at times, he had to stop and sit down, but he would be right back up a few minutes later, waiting for her to arrive.

Before the sun went down, he had gone out and got the laundry off of the line. It was still damp, but he could feel a storm coming in. He folded the sheets as best he could, his own housekeeping skills lacking. He even tried to fold her dresses but gave up when they didn't look right.

In the distance he heard wolves howl and he flinched. Lola could take care of herself. Finally, after the moon had nearly sunk on the horizon, Ares got up. He was going to go after her. The fact that he didn't know where the farm was or that it was dark didn't seem to matter. He moved stiffly to the door when it flew open.

Lola stood before him, exhausted. Her face held a sadness that seemed to haunt her.

"We lost the child," she whispered.

Tears filled her eyes as she moved to close the door, offering her back to him. She was trying to be brave, but she had been holding the baby--a boy when he had breathed his last breath. Mellina had been stricken with grief and it had taken all of the neighboring women to console her. In the end her husband was called for and would be returning in a few days if not sooner, which meant Hercules would be returning soon too.

She stood facing the door for a long time and when she turned around, Ares was there. He crushed her against him burying his nose in her hair. She wrapped her arms around him and clung like a little child while the tears spilled over. He didn't say anything, he just held her as her heart broke.

"I couldn't save him. I couldn't save him. The fever was too far gone by the time she sent for me--"

He pulled away from her, just far enough to look into her eyes. "Listen to me, Lola, this was not your fault. You would have saved the boy if you could, but it was too late. You did everything you could. There was nothing to save him."

Then he crushed her back against his chest.

"It's worse," she said against his skin. "They're coming back sooner than expected. Within just a few days, he should be back. Then you have to leave."

He didn't try to argue with her when she was like this, he just held her. That night, it was Ares who guided Lola up the stairs to the bed. She didn't argue as he turned down the covers and helped her lie back. Nor did she protest when he lay beside her, gathering her to him and letting her cry.

He lay awake for a long time after she had fallen asleep. So he wouldn't have as much time with her as he'd hoped. Fine. He would take her away with him. And she would never have to know such sorrow again. His mind made up, he drifted off to sleep.

/

The next morning Lola woke up to an empty bed. For a moment, she sat up wondering if everything over the past week had been a dream. Then she heard the cursing from downstairs.

The scene she came upon when entering the kitchen made her smile. Ares stood, shirtless, by the fire trying to cook eggs. Pots and pans were scattered about the kitchen eggs shells littered the table. He was no chef, she thought with a smile.

"Need some help?"

He jumped and whirled around. "Go back upstairs to bed, I'm doing fine all by myself."

She laughed. "Looks like it."

"Seriously, go back upstairs, I've got this," he gestured to what appeared to be breakfast. The gesture brought her eyes to his hand that was wrapped up in a bit of cloth.

"What did you do?" she demanded, crossing the room and taking his hand for inspection.

"It's nothing," he said trying to slip out of her grasp.

"You've burnt yourself," she unwrapped his hand with one hand and grabbed the frying back and flipped the eggs with the other.

"How do you do that?" he demanded.

She looked at his face and saw the bruise on his forehead. "How did you do that?"

"I hit my head on the fireplace."

She smiled and shook her head. "You poor thing. Go sit down."

"No, I want to do it."

"At the risk of killing yourself? Just let me do it. You started it, which is half the battle."

Consoled by this he lumbered over to the table and sat down as Lola whirled around the kitchen putting up pots and pans and finishing up the eggs and bacon. She placed the food before him and he smiled.

"I could get used to this."

"I could get used to you never trying to use my kitchen again," she said with a laugh.

He pouted.

"Okay, okay, you helped. Now, eat your food. You certainly have earned it today."

She seemed in better spirits even though there was a sadness still in her eyes. She didn't dwell on it, however as she noticed the rain falling outside.

"It's raining," she said quietly.

"I brought the laundry in," he nodded to the corner.

She looked at him thoughtfully. "Thank you."

"No problem."

They sat in silence for a minute before he glanced at her carefully. "I want to ask you something, Lola."

She flashed her eyes to him.

"I want you to come away with me."

She looked away, surprised at how much she wanted to say yes. "I can't."

"I thought you would say that," he said, getting up and moving to the far end of the room.

"It's not that I don't want to--I can't, you know that, Ares. He's my husband."

He didn't say anything. He just kept his back to her.

"If I could go--if I could leave here, I would. Maybe my memories are out there waiting for me--waiting for us to discover them. But I can't leave--I've promised myself to this life."

"Your memories? Is that what you want?" he demanded, his back still to her. 'If I could give you, your memories back, would you leave with me then?"

"What are you saying? You can't possibly give me my memories back. You can't tell me who I am. No one can do that--"

"What if I could? What if I gave you back everything you once were, would you promise to stay with me?"

"I would stay with you memory or no memory if I could, but I can't, and you know that," she said softly. "I love you, Ares."

"Then I hope you remember that, when you remember everything else," he said, whirling around and hurling the chakram at Xena's head.

He knew she would catch it, and Xena didn't disappoint, catching it swiftly. The second her fingers caught the cool metal all of her memories came flooding back.

"NOOOOOO!"

From the doorway, Hercules's big frame blocked everything but the three of them in the tiny kitchen of the house.

It was too late, Xena remembered everything--she remembered the blood of the battlefields where she slaughtered innocent people, she remembered her reckoning, her fateful meeting with Gabrielle, she remembered Solan and Callisto, Hope and Alti, she remembered Eve and Livia, destroying Olympus. She remembered Jappa and sacrificing herself. She remembered leaving Gabrielle alone, and then she remembered nothing but the lie she'd been living for the last six months.

"What happened?" she demanded in a slow even voice. "Where's Eve? Where's Gabrielle? Why am I here? And why did you lie to me?"

She had turned her fury on Hercules who was standing still soaking wet in the doorway of the house.

"Lola--"

"I'm not Lola," Xena answered in a deadly calm voice. "You know who I am. Now, answer me. Why have you been lying to me?"

"Because I love you," he said with a sigh. "I've always loved you, but I could never have you. First it was the greater good that had you, then Gabrielle came along, then your children, and before I knew even he--" Hercules gestured to Ares-- "had more of your heart than I did."

"So it was okay to lie to me?"

"I thought you were dead," Hercules countered. "I mourned you--the whole world mourned you, then one day I happen to be at the river and who should come walking to into my life--but Xena herself, only you had lost your memory. So I took you, renamed you and hid you away from everyone who might want to change you back into the Xena you had been years ago. Don't you remember the pain of that life? Losing Solan? Losing Gabrielle? Did you really want to hurt again? I gave you happiness, Xena. Pain-free happiness."

"At what price?" she demanded. "At the price of my child? At the price of Gabrielle? You took everything from me."

"I wanted to give everything to you! Things you never had before, things you deserved, things you would've had, had you taken a different path."

"I didn't need those things. I didn't need any of it. I was happy with my life the way it was when it ended, which brings me to my next point--who brought me back from the dead?" her eyes swung around to Ares who stood watching the scene between the two.

"That'd be me," he said with a shrug.

"Why? Why would you do that?"

"You know why, you've always known why. Why do I do anything for you?" he demanded.

"And how many times do I have to tell you that I can never be with you? You'll never change--you had no intentions of telling me the truth, either, did you?"

"I thought about it," he shrugged. "You were just so damn cute as a farm wife."

It took everything in Xena not to throw the chakram at him.

"But in the end, I did give you your memories back, Xena. And I gave up my godhood to be with you--again. So if I'll never change, what do you call that?"

"I call it selfishness. You did it all just so I'd come running to you. You gave up your godhood to bring me back and convince me that you loved me, gave me my memories back so I'd leave Hercules guilt-free."

"Nothing I do is going to convince you, is it?"

"You don't have to convince me, you lying bastard, I know you love me," she answered.

"Well you sure don't act like it."

"If I act like I know you love me, then you'll know that I love--"

Ares held his breath.

"Gabrielle--" Xena breathed with her eyes on the door.

"Damn it!" Ares thundered throwing his hands up in the air.

"Xena?" a distinctly familiar voice sounded from behind Hercules. In the flickering light, Gabrielle removed her hood and stood in the doorway behind Hercules.

The two rushed across the room and hugged.

"Gabrielle, how I've missed you--"

"Xena, I thought you were dead--"

They dissolved into tears and giggles as they held each other.

Hercules walked across the kitchen to where Ares stood. "Care for a drink?"

"You read my mind," Ares said as Hercules pulled down a bottle of wine. They toasted each other as they drank.

"You know this is exactly why I didn't tell her who she is," Hercules said taking a drink.

"I wouldn't have told her if I could have convinced her to run away with me," Ares nodded in understanding. "I guess I'll never get her back now."

"Me either," Hercules sighed. "Another round?"

"Indeed," Ares held out his cup. Hercules refilled it, as both brothers stared at the women clinging to each other.

"She's a one a kind woman," Hercules said thoughtfully.

"That no man or god could claim," Ares nodded agreeing.

X.

It was sometime after they all managed to settle down for the night that Xena left the big bed upstairs that she shared with Gabrielle for the kitchen. Hercules and Ares were supposed to be sleeping in the barn, but with so many questions in the air about her future, she couldn't sleep.

"Fate is a funny thing," Gabrielle said, as she lay next to Xena that night. "I was looking for you when I bumped into Virgil. He wanted to help me look for you, even though I think he knew it was a lost cause. He tried. He spent every waking moment with me…"

"And?" Xena had asked, softly.

"And I think I love him, Xena."

Xena sat up and looked at Gabrielle closely. "I think you do too. How far along are you?"

One look at her and Xena had known that Gabrielle was carrying Virgil's baby, hence the need to put down roots.

Xena entered the dark kitchen and stood by the window trying to gather her thoughts.

"Couldn't sleep?"

Xena didn't turn from the window at Ares's dark voice. "I wish you could've just let me die in peace. Why do you always have to keep bringing me back?"

He didn't say anything, just closed the space between them.

"No one needs me anymore. Eve is off teaching Eli's message of love and understanding. She no longer needs a protector. Gabrielle no longer needs a mentor. She's on her way to being happily in love and having the family she'd always deserved," Xena kept her gaze on the window. "I don't have a place in this world."

"Now, see that's where you're wrong. Someone needs you, Xena," Ares said in a low voice. "I need you, I've always needed you, but what's more than needing, I want you. Your place in this new world is with me."

Xena didn't say anything for a long time. Then she turned to him, with tears in her eyes. "Why do you keep coming back to me? Especially when you know there will never be a chance for us?"

"One in a billion, if I remember correctly," he said with a smile, taking her hand. "Because you don't give up on something you love. Even when you know there's no hope, you find hope deep within you and you go on. I'd do it all over again if I could, I wouldn't change anything."

"You wouldn't?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Well, maybe a few things, but as long as we ended up right back here, at this same spot at this same moment, I wouldn't care. Just being near you, Xena, makes me a whole new person."

"Do you mean that?"

"With all my heart," he answered softly. "That's why if you say you have to go, I'll let you go, just as long as I can live with the hope that we'll see each other again--for five seconds or for fifty years."

"Could you ever really be happy just being a farmer? Or a merchant? Could you really be a mortal?"

"I could try," he answered. "It doesn't matter what my job is, I would be a beggar on the streets if I knew that at the end of the day you'd be waiting for me."

"Let's shoot for something a little more glamorous," she smiled before leaning toward him. "You definitely beat the odds."

"Yeah, I've always been lucky like that," he said with a smile before capturing her lips with a searing kiss.


End file.
